A dialogue between you and me
Why do you create colors?
I create colors because a creative core lives within me. With them, I depict my own life journey, all the quiet moments, the wonder, the gratitude for being a human being on this beautiful planet.
Colors remind me how much beauty we can see when we truly look. And that my hands are allowed to create something that is more than a product, a feeling, a moment, a fragment of soul.
I hope that my colors will not only accompany me, but also help you to capture the most precious moments of your life, those that you wear because they last.
What do colors mean to you?
For me, colors are not tools for painting, and certainly not ordinary pigments. For me, they are words with which I express my inner world on paper.
They tell stories that cannot be captured in sentences: memories, longings, tender moments, and all the beauty that I have been searching for my whole life.
I strive for colors that can carry this beauty, colors that don't copy, but create.
Every nuance is a gift to me, a silent proof that life has entrusted me with this gift.
I believe that I encountered colors because it is my task to use them to make the unique visible.
How did VHaquarell come about?
VHaquarell began as a small experiment at the end of 2020, with a color that hardly looked like watercolor and was more reminiscent of an awkward beginning.
In 2021, I tried again. I experimented, discarded ideas, searched, and felt my way forward, but nothing felt right. During this time, I opened my Etsy shop; the feedback was polite, but not enthusiastic.
And deep inside I knew:
I didn't want to leave it like that.
In 2022, I devoted myself entirely to research. I studied pigments, binders, and the behavior of light, water, and paper.
And in the autumn of that same year, VHaquarell was born, this time for real. I opened my own little space on Wix, and suddenly something began to shine.
People wrote to me, sent me their pictures, painted stories with my colors that I could never have imagined. For the first time, I felt that my colors had found a home.
VHaquarell was created during one of the darkest periods of my life. But it was precisely there that it reminded me:
When the heart yearns for light, life begins to move in that direction.
What is the purpose of colors?
For me, colors are symbols of life. Everyone perceives them differently because life has a different meaning for each of us.
Colors reflect who we are, where we come from, and where we long to go.
I love the passionate red, just as much as the deep, introspective blue. I love the colors of the rainbow, but also the quiet, cool white of Antarctica.
Every color touches something different within us; it awakens memories, feelings, questions. Some colors accompany us throughout our lives, others we encounter only once, like a moment that passes too quickly and therefore remains unforgettable.
Colors give meaning to the ephemeral. They show us how precious every life is and how unique every perspective on it is.
What other research are you conducting?
I'm not only researching my own watercolor paints, but also a very personal recipe for alcohol ink. With it, I tell my life story, a life that begins gently but often takes unexpected turns.
My works feature both soft and determined lines. Each line represents a path I have traveled. None of them are perfect, just as we as human beings are not perfect.
But my search for beauty never ends; it leads me to where my inner self yearns.
The world of alcohol-based ink is small and still largely unknown, but that's precisely why it attracts me. My life compels me to explore new things, push boundaries, and shape an aesthetic that might one day be embraced and carried on by others.
Did you do anything else before?
Yes.
I've been making art for as long as I can remember. I've drawn cartoons and anime characters, learned Chinese ink painting and calligraphy, experimented with digital programs, and tried countless craft projects.
As a child, I sewed clothes for my stuffed animals, and later I taught myself, passing on what I knew, showing people how to feel lines and understand colors.
I love discovering new things. During my school years, science was my pride and joy, and for a time I was even fascinated by the sky above me, the stars, the silence, the endless questions of the universe. If I hadn't become an artist, I might have become a scientist.
But ultimately, all these paths have led to who I am today:
an artist who finds a piece of her world in every expression, in every technique and in every color.
How did you come to Germany?
Freedom is what has always driven my soul. For me, art and freedom belong together, as inseparable as body and life.
I still remember vividly how, despite passing my English exam, I wasn't allowed to go to England. My family refused, but something inside me wouldn't let things stay the same. So I started learning German, knowing that I was going against my own destiny.
When I finally received the visa, it felt like a ticket to freedom. I came to Germany and stayed here to continue my artistic journey.
I don't have the power to change my fate. But I have the determination to fight for my life with everything I have.
Which person has influenced your life the most?
The person who has influenced me the most is Taylor Swift.
During my school days, I listened to her music, learned her stories, and felt how she wrote her own life with her songs.
Through her I began to learn English, not only to better understand her texts, but also to better understand myself.
We were almost the same age, both women, both going through the pains of growing up. Her words helped me find my own feelings: the holding on, the losing, the hoping, and the deep longing to be seen and heard by the world.
She showed me what freedom can mean: being yourself, trusting your voice, and giving others the courage to do the same.
I've listened to many artists, but she's the only one I still follow today. Her greatness as a woman, her clarity, her vulnerability, her strength made her one of the brightest signs of our time.
She will not be forgotten.
Why are you so unwavering in your art?
I cling to art because it is my life. Because I couldn't go on without it.
I have been living with an autoimmune disease for more than ten years. There were times when I didn't know how I could go on living.
I went to therapy, was unemployed at home for a long time, looked for new paths, but nobody was looking for someone like me. I could only do one thing: draw, create, let color become feeling.
During those years, my soul fell into a deep darkness. And it was precisely there that art found me again. It was the hand that held me, the breath that lasted, the hope that led me back to life.
I was born for art. It is not my profession, but my origin, my anchor, my way forward.
My whole life belongs to her and to the colors with which I read the world and rediscover myself.
How would you like to inspire others?
I want to remind people that we only have this one life. It is fragile, fast-paced, and unpredictable.
I have witnessed people suddenly disappearing, through misfortune, through illness; yesterday they were there, today they are gone.
That's precisely why I believe that everyone should stay true to themselves.
Follow your heart, walk the path that calls to you, and become the person you already are deep inside.
Live a life where you don't have to look back and say:
"If only I had..."
Because the only thing that truly matters is that we leave without regret and with a heart that has truly lived.
The inspiration of the cosmos
Who are we in the universe? And what is the meaning of the universe's existence?
We usually view the world only from Earth's perspective, forgetting that we are part of the universe. That humankind exists at all and possesses consciousness is not a given, but rather the result of many specific conditions. Precisely because not every place in the universe supports life, our existence seems special and significant.
The universe itself needs no meaning. It simply exists. But we, as sentient and thinking beings, can give meaning to our existence. For me, this means that the universe is perceived and understood through us for the first time. This is not a predetermined goal, but a capacity that has developed over the course of life's evolution.
From an artist's perspective, humankind is not at the center of the universe, but it is one of the few phenomena capable of reflecting on its own position. The fact that our existence is not a given makes it all the more precious.
How does the human lifespan compare to the existence of the universe? And can the universe be lonely?
Comparing a human lifespan to the length of time the universe has existed reveals that the two are hardly on the same level. The universe spans timescales far beyond anything we can imagine. A human life seems very short in comparison. Yet many perceive their lives as long because they only experience them within the context of their everyday surroundings and rarely consider that the Earth itself has existed for billions of years.
Against this backdrop, human lifespan appears limited and precious.
Regarding the question of whether the universe is lonely, it can be clearly stated that the universe has no sensations and therefore knows no loneliness. Loneliness is an experience of human consciousness.
Humans, however, do experience loneliness. Some feel closer to the universe when gazing at the night sky because its vastness intensifies inner feelings. They perceive the stars as something familiar and experience the sky as a place closer to their inner world than their immediate surroundings. This feeling arises from human consciousness, not from any inherent loneliness of the universe.
What inspiration do the colors and light of the universe give an artist?
A large part of the universe is actually dark, because in many regions the conditions necessary for light to be produced are lacking. The light we see from the stars often has a very long journey before it reaches our eyes.
Even though the universe appears predominantly dark, it is nevertheless the origin of light and color. Light is created through various processes in space, and colors appear when light interacts with matter. Without the universe, there would be neither light nor the diversity of colors we perceive.
Everyone experiences light and color in their own unique way. This individual perception is what makes color so special in art. I hope that the qualities of light and color, which originate from the universe, will inspire your own inner images and help you develop a personal and distinctive artistic world.
What is the relationship between the universe, life, and human society?
Humans live in the universe, yet many are hardly aware of this. Most focus their attention on what is happening immediately around them, and thus perceive the world almost exclusively from Earth's perspective. The existence of the sun seems self-evident, even though it is only one of many special conditions that make life possible in the first place.
From a broader perspective, human existence is by no means a given. That we are here today is the result of many rare conditions that coincide only in a handful of times in the universe. The matter in our bodies originates from earlier stars, which connects us to the universe in a silent way.
As an artist interested in scientific connections, I like to view Earth and human society from a cosmic perspective. This perspective reveals striking parallels between social structures and structures in space. Society resembles a constantly shifting cloud of gas, and influential individuals act like stars around which social patterns form. When two people come together and a child is conceived, this process is reminiscent of the meeting of two galaxies, from which a new order and new life emerge. Close childhood friendships can be compared to rare cosmic encounters that give rise to something truly precious.
Few people view the world this way. But for someone who combines art and science, this perspective offers an interesting way to understand the relationships between people, the origin of life, and humanity's role in the universe.
What connection exists between watercolor painting and the universe?
The colors of VHaquarell have an indirect, yet very natural connection to the universe. Everything we perceive as color ultimately begins with light, and light is one of the most fundamental elements of the universe. Even though the pigments and hues of VHaquarell are created through artistic choices and craftsmanship, their origin lies in the impressions and images that the universe leaves within me.
In developing my colors, I incorporate my own perception and interpretation. What I see or feel in the universe, I translate with my hands into concrete color tones. These colors are part of my inner world and reflect my personal view of light and color.
In my imagination, there are things that don't exist in the real universe, such as green or violet stars. Such celestial bodies don't exist in nature, but they can exist in my artistic world. Even a black hole can have internal color shifts for me, and a nebula can change color like a chameleon. These images don't correspond to scientific realities, but they express the freedom of imagination.
A person's inner universe does not follow physical laws. With enough imagination, it can become infinitely vast and infinitely beautiful.
If you were a celestial body in the universe, what kind of existence would you represent?
If I had to compare myself to a celestial body, I would be most like a star. Right now, I feel like a star just beginning to shine. More than thirty years of my life have been marked by difficulties, disorientation, and moments of doubt. This time reminds me of the period before a star is born, when much is still unclear and unstable before something new begins to take shape.
When I finally understood who I am, what I want, and why I'm on this earth, it felt like an inner awakening. It was as if a light had been ignited within me. From that moment on, I began to use my own energy instead of relying on the support of others. I was able to radiate from within and naturally attract others.
If I could choose what kind of star I wanted to be, I would choose a particularly luminous blue giant. These stars may not live long, but in their brief existence they unleash extraordinary power and leave a distinct mark on their surroundings. Human life is short compared to the universe. Precisely for this reason, I want to use my time to the fullest and dedicate myself to what I love most, in order to make my contribution to this world.